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I.

Her hair is not hair but a bonnet
of crow feathers, says one.
He knows this, has seen her traipsing
when dark has crept into the swamps,
the sickly sweet scent of decaying lilies
rising between bared branches and stars.

Another has glimpsed her too
in the breath of an owl wing
farther north still, her beauty
the beauty of borealis,
her voice the haunting shrill
of loons in the mountains.

Young men with dim headlights
turned on the lake, sharing
ripe embers and laughter
pause in their carefree self-
exile to stare; not bear hide
but woman, her feet narrow
on the water.

The Half-moon reveals her,
unearthly eyes glimpsed
and lost again.

The youths do not speak of this
cold, shared occurrence.
Nervous coughing, a quick peal
of tires before darkness
and silence descend again.



II.

She has drawn her first true slave
here by the lake. He is not youthful
but he sits studious, beardless on a bed
of small colored pebbles, tongues
of water inching upon his toes,
brow bent over a lens. He waits.
She will come. She must come.
He holds his dreams suspended
hardly breathing, hardly daring
to reach emaciated fingers toward
ambiguous half-shadowed dawns.
If he can only capture her...
©2008-2009 *jamberry-song
:iconjamberry-song:

Author's Comments

Part of the Mythos of Consuela

Comments


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:iconunaccompanied-me:
Very beautiful images. You have a way of making things unconventional without being obtuse like I am sometimes.

--
I'm no expert, so take the above with a grain of salt.


~writeaway*PoetryPlease*The-Literati~The-Last-Stanza
:iconltcommanderdata:
I LOVED IT! That last stanza was amazing. I can see the man sitting and waiting with such anticipation. Well done! Is there more?

--
"Then knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
-Douglas Adams
:iconyouinventedme:
the first stanza is easily my favorite


xo!

--
an antique arms and armor expert
:icontetemeko:
Everyone should have a Consuela.

--
Whenever ideas fail, men invent words. ~Martin H. Fischer
:iconsaintartaud:
Can't think of anything to critique, but good poetry does that to me sometimes. You have a way with imagery and convey narrative without being too blatant. I also think it's neat how you're building a mythos with these poems.

--
my life in movies: [link]
:iconbluespartanofvgc:
To me, the first two lines were something special. It was just a wonderful introduction to a wonderful poem. I really enjoyed this work.
:iconcheekymonkeyali:
I almost never read literature stuff on dA, but the start of this appealed to me so I ended up reading it (I dropped in to say "thanks for the :+fav:") .

I like this a lot, although if I was being picky I feel you are being slightly unfair to the sweet, plaintive cry of the Loon ;)

Also, out of curiosity, why "sickly sweet scent," and not "sickly, sweet scent," or "sickly-sweet scent" ?
:iconjamberry-song:
Thanks so much for the read and comment! I appreciate it. :)
As for your critique---it could have a comma but it doesn't need a hyphen because the first word of the compound adjective ends in an "-ly". Does that make any sense?

And you're totally welcome for the fave. ;) Good stuff in your gallery.

--
[link] - Sci-fi flash fiction for tomorrow, every day.

[link] - Wickedly Loquacious, a dA writers\' community!

DA lit chat: [link]

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September 29, 2008
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